Wow, I am thrilled.

I took the accuplacer assessment for Edmonds Community College and...
after two hours of test-taking,

PLACED IN COLLEGE-LEVEL MATH


You have no idea how happy I am. Yesterday I thought, "Hey, I will look through my math book to kind of brush up on some stuff before my test." and had no idea what the questions were even asking.

I was so worried, because for physical therapy, you are expected to place at college-level. It's not even addressed because "Well, I have never known a physical therapy student who hadn't placed in college-level math courses...".

And I did it! OMG! My dreams are comin true right now, baby!

So I got a call today from some girl JJ.

She was, to be honest, very polite in asking me to back the fuck off from her man. And let's be real here, shit like that doesn't actually happen in real life - just in stupid movies or with people who are really really stoned (or I guess to Bangs when she dated Zac, but Bangs is crazy! ).
In fact, both are very likely possibilities. Justification? This stuff - all of it - doesn't happen to people in reality. So I must be in a movie (which would be amazing aside from the fact that it is clearly a tragedy) or all the people I associate with are stoned (which, well, I live in Granite. You all know how high we get ;-) ).

She told me that she had seen a message on her boyfriend's phone (his other number since his mom is borrowing his regular phone right now) from me about "getting with" him. And she was mad cuz "this is bullshit", and "when was the last time you guys hooked up", etc. To be honest, I was just scared. This girl I didn't know was yelling at me, and so so evidently black. I fear black girls. I didn't have my phone, but looking back at my call history, the girl called me at:

1. 12:45 p.m.
2. 12:49 p.m.
3. 12:57 p.m.
4. 12:57 p.m. (I know. Twice) and
5. 1:27   p.m.

If I had been thinking properly (by which I mean not being extremely angry at finding out the guy I have been with for over seven months has a girlfriend) I would have threatened her with harassment charges. Cuz oh good God... Five times in less than an hour. That would have serious legal repercussions, even with it being only one day.

I told her that I was terribly sorry. I had no idea he was in a relationship and that while, yes, we had previously had sex, that would never be happening again because who wants to sleep with a cheater? [Yeah, I like pointing out to bitches like her* that they really need to go get dial-happy with their man instead of "the slut". And I use the words "the slut" rather than my name because 1. don't think in this instance I was a slut and 2. I know this is a situation Bangs used to go through so I am approaching it kind of generally]
LOL and I agreed to never ever call him again. Yeah right.

* I would like to mention that I would not normally call her a bitch for calling me. If you think your guy is fucking around on you, you need to check up with "the slut" to make sure, but I don't think you have a right to get attitude about it, and you do not have the right to harass them on their personal phone. It's not like we were making out and he kept saying, "I can't, I have a girlfriend" and I tricked him into fucking me. Nope, "the slut" thinks he is totally available, which I think doesn't make her much of a slut at all...

Anyways, back to the story rather than my personal musings...
First I cried. Then I called Sedat. (You may recall the fore-shadowing lol in which I mentioned his mom is borrowing his phone?) She didn't answer, which I was a bit disappointed about as I had rrrr-eally wanted to inform her about how terrible her son is.

So I left a message.. and yelled a lot. I told him that next time he gets a girlfriend, maybe he could just mention it to me in casual conversation rather than letting me find out from the girl.
I told him that he could fuck his ideas of our marriage, because who wants to get married to someone who is already fucking other girls? I said I didn't understand why he keeps doing this to me, especially since he swore up and down that he would not ever do it again. I told him that if he didn't call me, I was going to call her back and give JJ vivid details of everything, and that I would call his phone again and leave a message specifically for his mom. And then I said, "Kay, thanks bye."

Ha, he called me half an hour later. He said he tried listening to my message and didn't understand what I was trippin about. I was like, "How about cuz the first time we hooked up, you got a girlfriend. And the second time we had sex, you got a girlfriend. And now, we have sex and I get a call from some girl who says she is your girlfriend."

 He pointed out that I am still in very deep contact with my ex (which I justified by how Sedat and I weren't dating, Chris is just a sexbuddy, and that Sedat had stopped speaking with me) and he just said, "Exactly. I have a friend too." He doesn't know why she said they were dating, but with how unconcerned she was about the cheating, I think maybe she was just trying to defeat the competition in order increase her chances with dating him?

 He said he had been all-for us dating seriously until the prior incident (which a lot of you do not actually know about, but I imagine you will once it's not as raw to me). And he moaned about how he wasn't ready  for that situation as he is still in school and we aren't married. He told me that if we were going to have a chance at being together, at having a fresh-fresh start, I was going to need to take some time to get over this sleight and he was going to need some time to get over the shock of the incident. And when he is ok, he will call me to let me know. And when I am ok, I should call him to let him know. Because he wants to be together and this is different; he has grown up. He says that when we are both relatively over what has happened, we will be together and there will not be any "friends" on either side.

And I told him, "You really think I still want to be with you after all the shit you have done to me?"

And he said, "Yeah, because you know that we have real love," before I had to hang up and leave.

Yup, must be a movie.

You know those irridescent people who, somehow, wear a flower in their hair every day? I'm talking real, live flowers here.

And they pull it off. These are the same people who wear skirts and heels everywhere they go and look stunning in them - and seem to never encounter squishy grounds or random hiking trips like I would. When they do, they take it in stride and again, somehow, don't ruin their outfit or muss up their hair.

When I wear a flower in my hair, I just get bugs scurrying all over my scalp. If that doesn't happen, it's because the flower keeps falling out of my hair and ends up, at the end of the day, looking like I stomped on it a few times and then pinned it in my hair.

I hate those damn flower people and I desperately want to be one of them.